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 Judaism eschews extremism. This obligation of being a "moderate" is codified into law by no less an authority than the Rambam and is, as he points out "the path of G-d" (Deot 2:7). The goal is not limited to developing traits of moderation, be they in our attitude towards money, food, or honour but to make them second nature to us.
When it comes to character development, our role model par excellance is Avraham Avinu our founder and the epitome of chesed , kindness. Whether it was welcoming guests, making peace treaties, rescuing his relatives or even burying his wife his compassion and concern for others was always uppermost. Character development does not come easy. We often lack the desire, the discipline and the determination to act in the proper way. Even when we overcome these barriers our execution often misses the mark, usually by not doing enough but at times by doing too much. One can become too extreme in the application of chesed not realizing that there are times when justice demands that chesed be put aside. "And you shall destroy the evil from your midst" (i.e. Devarim 17:7). If we fail to do so we run the risk of becoming amongst "those are merciful to the cruel will be cruel to the merciful". "And the name of the wicked shall be blotted out" (Mishlei10:7) sums up our attitude towards evil.
It appears that this was a lesson that took Abraham a lifetime to learn. Abraham grew up and spent much of his life surrounded by those whose values he did not share. His parents in Ur Casdim , the native Canaanites, the cultured Egyptians, even his own nephew Lot represented a foreign lifestyle to Abraham. To counteract their potential negative influences Abraham developed his character trait of chesed to an extreme. So extreme that he even beseeched G-d to save the people of Sedom , people who were wicked and sinners before G-d exceedingly (13:13). Abraham's sense of chesed was such that he did not realize that it has no place in dealing with such perpetrators of evil. And thus, unlike Moshe who successfully beseeched G-d to forgive the sinning, but not evil, Jewish people, Abraham's pleas fell on "deaf ears". G-d demonstrated to Abraham that, save for Lot , not a shred of goodness could be found in this town.
At times even those who are far from evil must be denied acts of chesed . Despite being disturbed by Yishmael's negative influence on Yitzchak, Abraham was reluctant to take decisive action against his son. Only G-d's direct command to listen to Sarah enabled Abraham to expel Yishmael from his home. And how difficult it must have been - personally escorting his own son and mother of his child out of his home. A proper environment for one of our founding fathers superseded the obligations of chesed in this particular instance.
There was one more lesson in the application of chesed that G-d wanted to teach Abraham. Take your son, your only son, the one you love, Isaac... and bring him as a burnt offering. (22:2). How could G-d command the killing of an innocent child? Perhaps this most philosophically challenging part of the Bible is meant to teach that ultimately it is only G-d who determines what is and what is not chesed. What appears to us as cruel can be in G-d's master plan be an act of chesed , one which we may never understand in this world.
While the akeidah story teaches that ultimately G-d abhors human sacrifice, we are witness the world over to the suffering endured by countless children. While we must do our utmost to put an end to all suffering, as believing Jews we must accept - in ways that defy our understanding - that G-d's ways are just and merciful. G-d may practice chesed differently than the way we are commanded but it is G-d who defines the parameters of chesed .
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