 The Talmud records that one who has no dreams for a period of seven days is called a wicked person. Dreams represent our innermost thoughts, our concerns of the present and our aspirations for the future. One must never cease to dream of the wonderful possibilities that can await us, constantly looking heavenward as we try to improve the status quo. Yet as the story of Yosef teaches us some dreams are better not revealed as others can easily misinterpret our intentions. Despite the brotherly hatred generated by Yoseph's dreams it was not the dreams that caused the brothers to hate Joseph. They may have added fuel to the fire but the flames of hatred were already in place. "When his brothers realized that their father loved him more than all the rest, they began to hate him. They could not say a peaceful word to him"(37:4). Only in the next verse are we told that Yosef dreamt a dream and told it to his brothers. It was the favoritism displayed by Yaakov that led not only to hatred but eventually led to our exile to Egypt. Look what a little colored coat can cause.
The notion of parents treating each child equally is so ingrained and obvious that one wonders how Yaakov could have made such a simple yet near fatal error? The Torah tells us "Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons since he was a child of his old age"(37:3). We can clearly understand why Yaakov had special feelings towards Yosef. After all he was the first born of his beloved wife Rachel who so tragically passed away at a young age. As our commentaries point out Yosef spent much time with his father caring for him and tending to his needs. Yaakov's mistake was not in loving Yosef more but rather in manifesting this favoritism in concrete ways. It was only "when the brothers saw that their father loved him more" (37:4) that the problems began.
"And Isaac loved Esau for he was also a hunter with his mouth but Rebecca loved Jacob (25:28)." Yaakov Avinu grew up in a home where favoritism was the norm. Yaakov, while perhaps understanding the negative results of such favoritism, subconsciously adopted such an approach when he had his own children.
This psychological phenomenon of adopting our parent's patterns when we become parents can help explain the apparent naivete of Yaakov in sending Yosef to meet his brothers in Shechem . How could he do such a thing knowing the feelings the brother s harbored towards Yosef? After all, Yaakov himself ran away from home so that Eisav could not kill him; he even ran away from Lavan who had no trouble fooling him at every opportunity. Why send Yosef into such a dangerous situation?
With all the feeling of hatred, some perhaps even justifiable, that Eisav had towards Yaakov there is absolutely no indication in the Chumash that he ever tried to hurt Yaakov. Even in the height of his anger when Yaakov had stolen his birthright, Eisav declares "the days of mourning for my father are near, then I will slay my brother Jacob" (27:41) a threat he never attempted to carry out. Instead, upon seeing his brother he kisses Yaakov and at the death of Isaac he joins Yaakov in burying him.
It was inconceivable to Yaakov that despite their hatred and jealousy the brothers would dare hurt Yosef. Surely not while he was alive. Clearly Joseph's actions of repeating a couple of dreams should evoke much less anger than Yaakov's actions of stealing the birthright.
It took Yaakov and Eisav over twenty years to reconcile. Jacob did not want his sons to have twenty years plus of animosity so he send Yosef to his brothers while himself staying out of the fray, fully expecting them to resolve their differences. He tragically miscalculated the depths of the brother's hatred and unfortunately it would take over twenty years for his sons to reconcile.
While we can not be naïve to the dangers that surround us we must continue to dream of a world where all of mankind will reconcile as we demonstrate that we are all created in the Divine image. Shabbat Shalom !
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